


Haircuts Are Lame Anyway

by nidorina



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-02
Updated: 2013-03-02
Packaged: 2017-12-04 01:08:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/704737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nidorina/pseuds/nidorina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are worse ways to end up than attached to your girlfriend by the hair without knowing how you got there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Haircuts Are Lame Anyway

**Author's Note:**

> Gift for [Moxie](http://moxana.tumblr.com/)!

Jade figures there are worse ways to wake up without knowing how you got like that.

“How very like you to think!” Aradia replies through a grin that is all teeth and less and less patience with each stroke of her hairbrush.

Jade giggles in spite of herself. “This will be funny by this afternoon!” she says. Aradia pulls particularly hard at one of the knots tying together their hair, and Jade shrieks. “Oh, come on! Look at this,” she insists. It takes great care to twist herself around enough to remove a bright flower accessory from somebody's hair (at this point there is no distinction; there is only hair) without shifting enough from her seat on the floor to get them hurt again, but Jade manages it. She waves it around behind her where she thinks Aradia's eyes might be. “Look!”

“That's probably yours,” Aradia says, and after another brushstroke, adds, “It's very cute!”

“There are probably way more in here.” Jade starts picking an entire spectrum of bobby pins out of her bangs and arranges them on the rug in front of her.

“Probably!” Brush, brush, brush. Aradia weasels her fingers through a knot then tosses a clip over her shoulder. It bounces off of Jade's head and she squeaks, but catches it on the rebound. It's plastic and shaped like a duck. “Do either of us own anything like this?”

“No,” Jade answers after scrutinizing it. “Hahaha, what _happened_?”

“When we aren't siamese girlfriends—” she says the word with renewed giddiness; it's her favorite human term “—I will go back in time and find out.”

“Yay! I love you.”

“I love you too! Oh, this one's a Squiddle. It must be yours.” Aradia passes back a patterned bow that Jade delightedly adds to the forefront of her accessory lineup. “I would love you even more if you got a brush and helped me.”

“How much more?”

“I dunno. A bunch!”

“Quantify it in kisses.”

Aradia pauses in her disentangling efforts to hum loudly in contemplation. “One make-out of objective sloppiness, and five smooches.”

“Ten smooches.”

“Fifteen smooches!”

“Fifteen smooches and a second make-out!” Jade guffaws.

“You have a deal!”

Jade holds her hands out in front of her and in two successive bursts of green light, a second comb across the room comes and drops into her palms.

She starts to turn around but there's a pull and Aradia cries, “Ow!”

“Sorry!” Jade tries to go the other way, but the next tug makes both of them hiss. Jade harrumphs and the comb rises out of her hand, sparking green aura, and hovers into the thrush of hair. It moves back and forth with Jade's swishing hand.

“Thank you—watch it!” The comb bumps her and Aradia bats at it.

“I _can't_!” Jade says, but she subdues her swinging.

“I'll have to start penalizing smooches.”

“You wouldn't dare!”

“Yes, miss, I may have to smooch you a sixteenth time.” She says this with a seriousness that reflects the stony expression on her face that Jade still can't see.

Jade gasps dramatically. The comb jolts upwards and drags a matted clump of hair up with it.

Aradia yelps. “That is _it_!” she snaps, “Sixteen smooches!”

“Oh _no_!” Jade cries. Her tone drops and she murmurs, fearful, “On the mouth?”

“On. The. Mouth.”

Jade gasps again.

Aradia starts snickering gleefully and coughs until the noise becomes an attempt at a maniacal cackle. It fades out with the realization that the noise is too witchy for her to make.

“Maybe I will have to let us stay tangled forever, then,” Jade muses.

“Maybe I'll cut all of your hair off.” Aradia pulls a clump apart with her nails, and Jade feels part of her hair fall against her back where it belongs.

“You're the one with too much hair!” Jade protests. “Maybe we will both go bald.”

“Maybe we will.” Aradia nods and more of the loosened tangles pull apart. “And I'll smooch your shaved head sixteen times!”

“Seventeen,” insists Jade.

“Eighteen.”

“Nineteen!”

“Twenty!”

“Twenty!”

“Fine!” Aradia says, “When we can move again, I will smooch you twenty times!”

“Then I will smooch you _back_ twenty times!” Jade says.

“You drive a hard bargain.” Aradia shimmies in place and bobby pins fall to the floor like hail.

An accessory is knocked aside by Jade's brush. She guides it to her. It is a familiar crimson gear emblem carved into plastic, into the center of which is painted a swirl design of white curved lines, glued onto a clip. Jade turns it over in her hands and says, “When we are untied, we should do our hair properly.”

“Only after I finish smooching you,” Aradia answers after a moment's thought.

“Of course,” says Jade and pins the strange new hair clip to her shirtfront. It rests against her chest near where her heart beats. “ _After_ we smooch.”


End file.
